In these worrisome times, we note that we’re inclined to become so occupied with worry that we lose sight of our obligation to set aside a prudent portion of our lives to be glad we’re alive, so when the trip is over, we can think, Gee, I’m glad I was born. Now, I can croak with a smile.
In an effort to help free our minds for a reasonable amount of worry-free time, we thought we’d make a list of things we ought to worry about, but with discretion. And, since dire events seem determined to occupy a certain part of our thinking time, we’d like to note, even more importantly, ten indications of the things we don’t have to worry about.
First, ten things we should take at least some time to worry about.
1. The Debac in Iraq
2. The Israeli-Hezbollah-Hamas Triangle
3. Osama Bomb Laden
4. America, Bushwhacked
5. Global Warming, Especially Thunderstorms On The Weekend
6. Mortgage Payments, Credit Card Bills, And Tax Audits
7. Child And Adult Molesters
8. Dumb Movies That Make Millions
9. Songs People Love That Say Nothing
10.Books That Reduce Your Intelligence
Second, here are ten things we don’t have to worry about, at least, not that often:
1. Brad And Angelina’s New Baby
2. Donald Trump’s Hair
3. Who Will Be The Next Miss America
4. The New TV Season
5. Whether Or Not GM Will Ever Make A Car That Can Compete With Toyota
6. Whether Or Not Bill And Hillary Still Make Love
7. Whether Or Not George And Laura Still Make Love
8. How Much More Weight Dennis Hastert Will Gain
9. Whether Or Not The Theater Can Recover From Its Monetary Bent And Imbecilic Critics
10.How Much Muck We Have In Our Coronary Arteries
Tom Attea, humorist and creator of NewsLaugh.com, has had six shows produced Off-Broadway. Critics have called his writing "delightfully funny," "witty," with "great humor and ebullience" and "good, genuine laughs." |
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