In a breakthrough of enormous consequence for the general conduct and happiness of the human race, scientists at Johns Hopkins have announced that they have identified the gene that leads many a bright high-school and college student to become, as adults, inexplicably stupid.
“This is the gene all right,” one of the researchers commented. ‘You take it and implant it in a normally intelligent mouse, and suddenly you have it doing more stupid things than you can imagine, like biting itself in its own foot, running into walls, and trying to pick up a cheese cutter to attack another mouse with.”
Reached for comment, a leading psychiatrist said, “The discovery of the stupidity gene is good news indeed. As all the world knows, stupid behavior has begun to threaten civilization itself. I understand that this new gene works by blocking people’s ability to fervently believe in things that have been considered really stupid for hundreds and even thousands of years.”
The intellectual community has expressed great enthusiasm for the potential of the gene therapy.
“Just think,” one intellectual spouted, “if this gene really does control stupid behavior, I may no longer be the only really intelligent person I know.”
Tom Attea, humorist and creator of NewsLaugh.com, has had six shows produced Off-Broadway. Critics have called his writing "delightfully funny," "witty," with "great humor and ebullience" and "good, genuine laughs." |
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