A new study in The New England Journal Of Medicine reveals that one of the principal causes of high-blood pressure in the contemporary world is logical thinking.
A researcher commented on the surprise finding, saying, “Look it’s basically an illogical world out there. So the more you try to deal with it logically, the more upset you’re bound to become – and up shoots your blood pressure. We found that, when we convince patients to give up interfacing with the world with the expectations that logical thinking sets up, they immediately become far more relaxed and, as a result, their blood pressure drops, often returning to normal levels.”
When asked if there might be other undiscovered factors that contribute to high blood pressure, he said, “Oh, absolutely. For instance, we’ve got a study in the works right now on that insidious culprit, sensitivity.”
“Sensitivity?” we asked.
“Yes,” he went on, “You see the modern world, especially as we interface with it through the mass media and frequently in corporate life, appears wildly insensitive to our individual wishes, so the more sensitive you are, the more likely it is to upset you. So we’re looking into how we can condition people to feel less, at least, when dealing with larger entities.”
“What about sensitivity in our personal lives? Is that still OK?”
“Well, I’d like to think so. But, since many domestic spats lead to higher blood pressure, we’re also considering a study to determine the benefits of reducing sensitivity in personal life.”
“But what good is it,” we inquired, “to have normal blood pressure if you’re determined to be illogical and insensitive?”
“Well, that’s part of the problem. In some ways, the cure may be worse than the disease. Of course, the ultimate way to lower your blood pressure is to die, but we don’t see that as a viable area for a long-term study.”
Tom Attea, humorist and creator of NewsLaugh.com, has had six shows produced Off-Broadway and has written comedy for TV. Critics have called his writing ""delightfully funny" and "witty" with "good, genuine laughs." |
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